Daily Necessities of Life – and Coffee Helps Too
If your relationship with Christ is defined by the coffee cup in your hand, you need to leave Starbucks and get yourself to a church. Right the hell now!
I am a card-carrying Catholic, and I’m proud to wish everyone I know a Merry Christmas at Christmas, but who am I to be offended by Starbuck’s decision to just use red cups this year? Who am I to think everyone else should follow my lead? Am I Jesus himself? Um, no!
If you ask me, it’s the Red Solo Cup that should be offended. What if people prefer the Red Starbucks Cup to the Red Solo Cup?
That’s when this controversy will get REAL, you Zealots!
Besides, as Christians, shouldn’t there be more important things to worry about?
A ginormous sinkhole swallowed up 14 cars in an IHOP parking lot in Mississippi. As the patrons devoured their fat and sugar infested “meals,” the sinkhole devoured their cars.
Hmmmmm … Isn’t gluttonly a sin? Perhaps the sinkhole was a sign from above? Quit eating the pancakes, Fatty McFatterson, or you’re going straight to hell and it doesn’t matter what cup your coffee came in!
I’m not sure who this is news too, but recent reports are telling us that advertisers are sneaking extra messages in to their ads. Even KFC is in on it. They supposedly snuck an image of a dollar bill on some lettuce or some crazy nonsense like that.
Seriously, the only subliminal message I want is from bona fide saint! That’s something the Bible Bangers might want to wish for themselves.
Ok, this is not exactly a Christian problem, but C’MON! We have to know!
AMC is dragging this out too long, dammit! The fans need concrete answers not a bunch of “hints” over multiple episodes! Enough with all the speculation already!
If this isn’t a sign from above, what is? No kidding! Dude in Long Island took a long trip to Florida, came home and BAM! House Totally Disappeared! That guy needs to find Jesus pretty quick, if you ask me!
No! It’s not porn! Get your mind out of the gutter, Peter McPervert!
Crayola has come up with a way for adults to be kids again. Maybe the adults up in arms over the red cups could use some quiet coloring time.
I mean really, don’t we all have bigger things going on in our lives?
But, if that isn’t enough for you then try this:
Next time you go to Starbucks, tell them your name is Merry Christmas. Boom! Instant Christmas Cup!