Daily Necessities of Life – and Coffee Helps Too
We children of the 1970s and 80s are way over celebrated. Way over celebrated. We have all seen the FaceBook posts/rants about how careless our parents were for letting us sit in the front seat of the car without a seatbelt at the tender age of eleven or how we bravely survived bike crashes without helmets and padding. How did we survive? Wah! Wah! Wah!
Puh-lease, crybabies! Quit you whiny-ass grouching!
You know who the real heroes of those days were?
They had none of the modern conveniences that we all so take for granted today (and would totally die without).
First, they were tethered to the wall. They couldn’t move more than five feet from the wall jack! Can you imagine? There was no call-waiting or voicemail. If the person they were trying to reach didn’t answer, all they heard was the lonely sound “ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring……..” or the wretched busy signal “ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh.” That busy sound was the worst. It basically said, “The person you are calling is too busy talking to someone else to talk to you. Loser.”
There was no calling people on the run with your cell phone. And can you imagine a life without texting? KILL ME! Seriously, they had to talk to people they hated – in real time!!! And dial them up rotary style – HOW DREAD-FLIPPIN-FUL!
And can you imagine having to hold a receiver to you ear for an entire conversation? Speaker phones would have scared the shit out of my Mom back in the day! People would have heard her personal conversations! One thing 80s Moms had that we don’t is a sense of modesty. Then again, they couldn’t possibly update their FaceBook status while on a tethered wall phone with no touchscreen or speaker. I guess it’s six or half either way.
80s Moms didn’t have the luxuries that SUV and Minivans give us today. Can you imagine just the horrifying task of taking your kids to school thirty-five years ago? Let’s assume you were one of the station wagon driving mamas – preferably one with the wooden panels. Just for kicks, let’s pretend it’s the dead of winter too.
And sure as a ships sails on Sundays, can someone please explain to me how in the flippity flop our mothers learned to do anything without the added advantage of seminars, blogs, classes and an entire weekend worth of speakers like MommyCon? Seriously? Where did they learn to change diapers? From their own mothers and from babysitting jobs when they were teens? That seems rudimentary, doesn’t it? No wonder they smoked like chimneys and had tequila sunrises and fuzzy navels at noon!
What about all the support groups we now turn to on all the social media sites? You know, the ones we really use to find people who have it worse than us so we can make ourselves feel better? You know you’ve check them out. DON’T PRETEND YOU HAVEN’T!
I guess breastfeeding just had to come naturally to our Moms since they couldn’t go learn from the likes of blogs such as, “The Leaky Boob,” and any number of YouTube videos that teen boys also use as entry-level porn these days.
But let’s face it. Moms back then are really our heroes because somehow they managed to keep it all together without the conveniences of electronics to pacify a bratty kid, automatic settings and timers on every imaginable appliance, and all-consuming smart phones all while weighed down in the most ridiculous outfits and glorified Aquanet-styled hair.
And no wonder our Moms dressed in those ridiculous aerobics outfits so as to be allowed in to classes at the over-priced likes of Ballys and Fitness USA. They had to do aerobics if they wanted to lug those shoulder pads around all day!
Let’s face it, as kids of the 1970s and 80s, we had a blast. My daughter recently asked me how I could spend an entire summer day hitting a tennis ball up against a garage door. As I put down my iPhone to look at her, I told her I wish I still could.